It’s officially summer here, and not only did we get a massive heat wave just a few weeks after snow, but Covid restrictions are lifting in my neck of the Canadian prairies! Patios are open, which means I need to figure out how to interact with my fellow primates again.
Fear not, I have a 4-step plan.
First, I need to up my mask game. Not only are they mandatory, but they’re on your face, and need to represent who you are as a person. Which is why I’ve decide to add some sparkles to mine.
I’m not normally a sparkle person. My wardrobe has a lot of blacks, grays and browns. But I’m desperate for human interaction, so I need to look friendly as hell.
Pro tip: puff pain works great for mask decoration! In fact, I might go beyond sparkles and add some extra whiskers to my existing cat-themed masks.
Speaking of cats, this is my new cats-in-space dress I yoinked from my local second-hand store. I cried when I found it. Literal tears. It takes a special place in my closet next to my pizza-cat-in-space shirt, and will look ballin’ on the patios.
Cats are always the answer.
Okay, so we’ve covered masks for safety, and an appropriate outfit to draw attention. But we can’t only focus on outward appearance; we also need to pay attention to what’s on the inside.
No one is attracted to a scared, insecure person, no matter how badass her cat dress is. Which is why I’ve decided to practice some shooting at the gun range this weekend, and finally use those zombie targets I bought.
In all the books and movies, the zombie apocalypse starts in late spring or early summer, so I will be ready for it. Canada does not allow you to carry a concealed weapon (unless you count my body, hehe), however:
You don’t need a permit to carry confidence.
Just image me on a patio in the space-cat dress, with a sparkly cat mask, looking like I could easily kill a zombie at any moment. You wanna talk to me now, don’t you?
Okay. The last step is crucial, and somewhat obvious: bring a book.
Books not only keep you from being bored while waiting for potential prey, but the awesome witch/werewolf/zombie novel in your hands (or on your phone) is a great icebreaker.
Oh, and also? You look pretty damn cool, sitting there reading. Just saying.
Now, I’m sure a fellow book nerds such as yourself already has an ocean-sized TBR pile. But just in case, here’s a June promo for scifi/fantasy books that are all free!
It doesn’t get better than free.
That about covers it. If you live in Medicine Hat, keep your eyes peeled for me and my space-cat dress. If you live elsewhere, I would be honoured if you took a picture of your favourite cat outfits/accessories and tagged me (@authoreejudd) so that we can give internet high-fives.
One last note. Teeth is on the last round of edits, so I’ll be sending out an email mid-June to find ARC reviewers.
Elise “cats are a way of life” Judd